January 2011
Watchmy dad sent me this video of my dog omg I love her
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oh god @BJAofficial is verified now. I knew it was him but seeing him legit @Twitter verified is too much. REVOKE IT UNLESS HE TWEETS MORE.
A Positive Ending
(A guest comes through my line with a four pack of AA batteries and an energy drink called Assault. He is trying not to giggle during the transaction.)
Me: “Here is your receipt, have a great day!”
Customer: “Guess what?”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “You just charged me for Assault and battery!” *grabs his bag and sprints out of the store*
oh god
Alicia this is from Georgia but I hope this person comes to Missouri one day and you get them as your customer
Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”
Customer: “I want fish.”
Me: “Alright, what kind of fish? We have catfish, tilapia, or grouper.”
Customer: “I just want fish.”
Me: “I have to know what kind you want.”
Customer: “I just want some d*** fish. How hard is that?”
Me: “Catfish it...
Medical Training These Days Is Shocking
Me: “Hello this is [name] from [college] returning your call. What can I do for you?”
Student: “Hi, I was calling to find out–”
(A very loud noise erupts in the background. Yelling, laughing, and a strange buzzing sound ensues.)
Student: *sounding embarrassed* “Sorry about that. I work at a hospital and it’s really quiet today. Everyone’s playing Operation (the game).”
Me: *laughing* “Ma’am, you just made my day.”
ok I unfollowed emily-maya
problem solved :p
if I see one more post about PLL
I will fucking shank you nevermind that I haven’t watched it yet because I’m at work but I don’t even think it aired on the west coast yet
how about you wait a little bit before spoiling it or put it under a cut tag
ps
those last two posts they were both from Missouri
sorry Alicia
You Couldn’t Make It Up
(My job is to call people and pitch the brand of make-up my company sells. I call and an obviously really young girl answers the phone.)
Little Girl: “Hello?”
Me: “Hi, may I talk to the lady of this residence?”
Little Girl: “That’s me.”
Me: “I mean, may I talk to your mom?”
Little Girl: “I have two dads.”
Me: “Oh well, never mind then. Have a nice day!”
Little Girl: “Wait! Why did you call?”
Me: “I’m selling make-up.”
Little Girl: “Oh! One of my daddies loves that stuff. It makes him look pretty when he goes dancing! Let me give him the phone! Dad! Dad! Some girl wants to make you look pretty!”
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Smoke Your Veggies
(I’m a waitress taking the order of a little girl and her mother.)
Young Daughter: “I’ll get the mac’n’cheese. Extra cheesy!”
Mother: “No, you certainly will not. It’s your third day eating mac n’ cheese, missy! You’re going to get chicken and broccoli.”
Young Daughter: “But mommy! Eddie said that broccoli is bad for you!”
Mother: “Your brother most certainly did not!”
Young Daughter: “Yeah! The other day I saw him smoking his broccoli and when I asked if I could he looked at me and said that it’s very bad for little girls like me. His eyes were all red and everything!”
Mother: “When was this?!”
Young Daughter: “Yesterday! But his friend brought over more broccoli today. They’re weird.”
Me: *feeling very awkward* “Ma’am, I can get the check for you if you’d like to leave?”
Mother: “That’d be great. And could you box up an order of mac’n’cheese please? Oh, and some really good smelling stuff? I figure they’ll have the munchies and I want to torture them.”
“I just saw a banana peel in the street and instinctively swirved to avoid...”
– Vinny Guadagnino from Jersey Shore
Udderly Ridiculous
(A young woman is ordering her breakfast.)
Me: “Would you like eggs as well?”
Customer: “No thanks, I’m trying to become a vegetarian and eggs come from cows.”
(Please note she had already ordered bacon.)
nonoperational:
wellalright:
so the other day i was walking and i passed by this antirape campaign poster.
it was just of a guy and a girl smiling and holding each other and a quote that said, ‘when she said stop, i stopped.’ and then another one that said, ‘when she said no, i listened.’
and the dude had such a self satisfied, smug look on his face. like he just saved her life or...
cake update: i already fucked up the cake
parliament-of-owls:
i waited until it was cool before i took it out of the pan but apparently it wasn’t cool & it broke in half so i then proceeded to kick a bag of recyclables & dramatically seethe about how i was going to throw the cake away because i ruined it & then i thought about the woman in the hours who tries to make her husband the perfect birthday cake but ends up throwing...
Flavor Flav is opening a fried chicken chain
I guess he opened his first store in Iowa today. Right next to KFC.
“Flav, whose real name is William Drayton Jr., is planning on being involved with the chain, and says he will visit often and work the fryer.”
I’m amused.
permanentamnesia replied to your photo
I’m in MA too! This morning was -3 o_O
richiedagger replied to your photo
Just looking at this makes me feel even colder. :(
stopdropnroll- liked your photo
why is there so much snow coming our way kill me now please
AND KATELYN WHY DO YOU ‘LIKE’ THAT PHOTO IT IS FREEZING OUT
bored/weirdsad mood
fugginbish:
so i painted my nails a st. jimmy theme.
now eating chocolate coins.
#productive fugging day
what constitutes a st. jimmy theme and are there photos
…..is Adie really following @Jesus on Twitter? omg I think I’m dead
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Muggle Transportation
Me: What time will you be here?
Mom: There’s lots of traffic…so not before 12:15
Me: BOOOOO. THAT’S TOO LATE.
Mom: Well we don’t have broomsticks, thestrals, floo network and can’t apparate.
greatest comment ever →
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.........
“Armstrong electrifies and ups the adrenaline as St. Jimmy, the malevolent Pied Piper of hallucinogens! -Hollywood Reporter”
Heroin is a narcotic though… an opiate, a depressant. Not a hallucinogen. Uh… what?
/Hollywood should know its drugs by now/
LOL
“Ablaze with energy, Armstrong is a whirling tornado of temptation! -The New York Times”
WHIRLING TORNADO. OF /TEMPTATION/.
someone come play L4D2 with me XBL GT “musiquexcoeur”
8 tags
sleepyti.me bedtime calculator →
I have a class at 8am so I’m going to try using this thing to go to bed and see how well it works
I am doing laundry
and one of my Adeline dresses is in there
and I never check the settings of washing/drying things unless it is something that I feel uncertain about (ie, one shirt I had in there that’s new, and dresses, and anything with scrunchy parts)
anyway, I can’t find a laundry care tag, only the Adeline tag so I am hanging it to dry since I don’t want to stick it in...
jesuschrist-:
Read More
I should send your post it ASAP then
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This is a PCGame but its been hacked for the xbox...
I saw that in the article if my comments didn’t reflect that already
thank you though
Questions/comments?
Microsoft motion sensing controller 'Kinect' plays... →
sheerazraza:
Continuing our coverage of Kinect being hacked to play PC games, we have yet another hack to share with you folks. This latest hack sees Microsoft’s motion sensing controller playing a first person shooter game Left 4 Dead 2? How well does the game run? Find the answer after the jump. CONTINUE READING
assuming you were using the Kinect with the Xbox instead of the PC (not sure...
samanthaofthedead:
PETA and To Write Love On Her Arms are 2 of the most annoying organization-things and they both just piss me off.
BA NA NA NA ~
ddeathorglory:
thurstonheartsthewho:
igivemyselfthecreeps:
neonheartday-gloweyes:
heymoondontyougodown:
FRUIT GIMME FRUIT GIMME FRUIT
I DON’T NEED ‘EM BUT I’LL TAKE WHAT’CHA GOT
GET THE VITAMIN C AND I’LL KEEP IT
8 KIWIS TO THE WALL, HIT THE TREADMILL, KILL THEM ALL
AND WE BUN AND WE BURN WE BURN
GET RID OF THESE CALORIES~
OH MY GOD. I AM FUCKING CRYING.
oh
I had a gif to...
brixxxton liked your photo stopdropnroll- replied to your photo: I don’t know if everything will come out…
WELCOME BAAAAAAAACK. :3
unknownwhereabouts liked your photo:I don’t know if everything will come out… saintalicia liked your photo: Grandma ♡ unknownwhereabouts liked your photo unknownwhereabouts liked your photo
this is the most likes I have ever gotten within a half hour...
I feel tired and rundown and occasionally dizzy
if my parents gave me the flu I will flip a shit
1) I don’t want the flu
2) I have classes
3) I don’t want them to be right
4) I don’t want the flu shot next year
I haven’t really packed anything and I might be going back in like eight hours
also I didn’t do anything I wanted (ie, organizing my bookshelf) because...
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“You need a Twitter. Or a Tumblr. I feel disconnected from you now. Although I...”
– me to Jess